As a provider of sleep training support, one of the most interesting aspects of my job is that I get to work so closely with such a wide variety of people and personalities.
Coming into people’s homes, especially at a time when they’re vulnerable and emotional, lets you get to know them in a hurry.
I can honestly say that I’ve never really had two families that really reminded me of one another. The difference between every family I’ve worked with is simply astonishing.
I’ve seen families where parents split the childcare duties 50/50 or 60/40. I’ve seen others where one parent tackles the feeding, bathing, supervision, education, and doctor visits, and the other reads them their bedtime stories.
These scenarios, and everything in between, are absolutely fine by me, of course. Any two people who can reach an agreement on what works for them in terms of raising their family deserve a medal, as far as I’m concerned.
So let’s not kid each other, sleep work is a tough slog.
You’re obviously sleep deprived by the time you decide you need to take action, and you have a few nights ahead of you that are probably going to test your patience and determination. If only one person’s involved, it’s going to be that much more of a challenge. Having sleep training support can make all the difference.
Dear parents that usually take a bit of a back seat,
If you’re feeling left out of the child-rearing process and wishing you had more of an opportunity to bond with your baby. Or perhaps want to take some of the parenting stress off your partner’s shoulders.
This is your moment.
Can I just say… No dinner at a Michelin rated restaurant; no front row concert tickets; or trip to a tropical paradise; is going to solidify your place as your partner’s hero quite like taking a leading role in getting your baby sleeping through the night. I am not even slightly exaggerating here. Sleep training support rocks.
If you’re reading this, I would guess there’s a decent chance you’re already feeling the effects of at least a few nights of sleep deprivation. You don’t need to be told how serious the effects really are. The thought of months or even years of this seems like an impossible situation. Your partner undoubtedly feels the same way.
So when you jump out in front of the problem and tell your partner, “I’m here and I’m ready to tackle this situation alongside you”, it may well result in one of the most passionate, heartfelt smooching sessions of your life. There is just nothing sexier than waking up exhausted in the middle of the night and seeing your partner already getting out of bed, telling you to lie down and go back to sleep, with those three magic words… “I got this”.
To the more hands on parent,
Check this out, you lucky duck! Your partner is awesome. They totally recognise your efforts in raising your baby. They want to pull a little extra weight to make up for all of the hard work you’ve done. Take more of an active role in helping you get your baby sleeping through the night. So congratulations on your excellent choice in a partner.
Is it easy?
No, not particularly. Sleep training can be challenging. There’s likely to be some crying, some moments of doubt, and a few trying nights, but everyone I’ve guided through the process with my intensive sleep training support, has told me unreservedly that they would do it all over again in a heartbeat now that they’ve got their baby sleeping through the night.
So what’s the catch?
Well, you have one very simple but difficult task here.
You have to let them do it.
As the chair of the parenting department, that might be difficult. You’re probably used to having the veto power when it comes to baby-centered decisions. I want you to relinquish that for a while.
Sleep training requires consistency. You and your partner should have a well-established plan that you’re both comfortable with. There is, however, room for each of you to have a different style within that framework.
So resist the urge to hover over your partner as they figure out their own approach. It’s vital that they know you’re confident in their parenting abilities. Micromanaging someone else’s parenting is likely to result in them just throwing their hands up and saying, “Fine, you do it”. Then you’re on your own again and your partner probably ends up harbouring a hint of resentment.
Don’t undervalue what you’ve got here.
This is someone with a deep and genuine love for your child who’s available and eager to help you with one of the most daunting challenges of early parenting, and they’re willing to do it for nothing! There are a lot of single parents out there who would literally step over their own mothers for that kind of an offer. So be cool. Let your partner do their thing. You might be very pleasantly surprised at the results they get. Plus you get to enjoy the rather sublime experience of watching them build their own little set of inside jokes, routines, and nuances. It’s like the sweetest thing in the world.
To both of you,
What you’re about to do is really going to do amazing things for your little family unit. You’re going to get your baby sleeping through the night, which means you’ll both be sleeping through the night again. You’re also committing to doing it together, and that’s going to make this endeavor even sweeter.
You will learn how supportive you can both be in some tough moments, how much stronger the two of you make each other, and how unstoppable you are when you parent as a team. You’re taking a problem that could seriously deteriorate your relationship and agreeing to tackle it together. I think you should both be very proud of that.
I hope it goes smoothly from the word go, but just remember if it doesn’t, I’m always here to help.
Two parents presenting a united front is a mighty force.
Those same parents armed with an expert for additional sleep training support to help them through this process, well that’s practically unstoppable.
On a side note..ever looked into the 5 Love Languages? I need to get this book!